14 Comments
User's avatar
Vera's avatar

Ironically, I really needed to use anger today, as I have been dealing with some difficult types of people and the dynamic changed once I didn't let others walk all over me.

What a treasure this place is! Thank you so much for reaching out and adding to the discussion! Very much appreciated! ❤️

Expand full comment
Margo Helman's avatar

Vera, your article touched a chord for me and it's a pleasure to be able to collaborate with you on spreading the news about anger.

And how great that you had a good experience strengthening yourself (if that's a fitting way to put it) with anger just today! I wonder, did the other people know that you were angry or was it an internal shift for you? I think you have wisdom to share about this, if that feels right to you.

Expand full comment
Vera's avatar

I don't think anyone knew, but they could *feel* it, for sure... I think once something changes inside of us, the world around us changes too! We need to do it in a balanced way though. It's tricky, but worth it! ❤️

Expand full comment
Margo Helman's avatar

Balanced. And tricky. Yessiree.

This article itself is unbalanced since it talks about embracing anger, but not about how manage its destruciveness.

So, our work is never completed. But it us more than begun.

Expand full comment
Keith Aron's avatar

Thank you, Margo and Vera - this resonates deeply, probably because it tracks with my experience of growing up in a family where overt expressions of anger were the exclusive domain of my father, but anger was ever-present in the passive-aggressive air we all breathed. I was conditioned to topple into a shame spiral if I failed to contain (ie, stuff) my anger. All that "containment" led straight to depression for me, because anger has to land somewhere. After years of therapy and other inner work, I've slowly developed a healthier relationship to my anger. Thank you for normalizing this.

Expand full comment
Margo Helman's avatar

Hey Keith, I see I replied to this a month ago without actually replying here, so just in case you didn't see it, putting it here again.

Proud of you Keith, hope you don't mind me saying so. For your compassionate devotion to your own development and happiness.

Expand full comment
Keith Aron's avatar

Thanks so much, Margo! I appreciate this. Thank you 💜

Expand full comment
Vera's avatar

Margo had a lovely idea to add to the discussion, and I’m grateful for that.❤️

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It’s no easy task! I can definitely see repressed anger transforming into depression, but it sounds like you have a much better command of it now. Something to be proud of! 💪🏻

Expand full comment
Gala's avatar

Awww I loved this!! it’s so beautiful to experience other people’s darkness, and to have someone witness you at your worse too, it’s so intimate and sexy🌸

Expand full comment
Margo Helman's avatar

Oh Gala, in the moment it does not feel sexy, that's for sure.

Seeing each other at our worst is intimate but while it's happening it feels shamefully so. To be seen falling apart, to be seen in a rage - for different people different kinds of falling apart will feel more shameful or less.

But everything you say is still true: experiencing other people's darkness is, in the end, beautiful and definitely leads to more sexy.

Thanks sooo much for this comment.

Expand full comment
Margo Helman's avatar

Proud of you Keith, hope you don't mind me saying so. For your comoassionate devotion to your own development and happiness.

Expand full comment
Dom de Lima's avatar

This is such a thoughtful reflection on anger, not just as an emotion but as something that can shape relationships in unexpected ways. Anger is often framed as purely destructive, but you highlight a different perspective, one that sees anger as a signal rather than something to suppress.

Thank you for sharing this Margo. It’s an important conversation, and you’ve given me a lot to think about <3

Expand full comment
Margo Helman's avatar

Exactly, Dom. All our feelings can be a pathway to developing wisdom and self-knowledge, as well as directing us in our choices about how to communicate and live well.

Thanks so much for your comment. I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts :)

Expand full comment
Dom de Lima's avatar

Beautifully put! :)

Expand full comment